May 23, 2006

I'm not Dating......I'm Waiting

When I was little, there was one subject that would make me mad. . . .boyfriends. One time, when I was younger, someone asked me if there were any boys that I liked (or something like that) and my dad told them that they better not talk about that with me because I’d get angry.

To give a few more examples:

When I was around 5 years old, there was little boy in my Sunday School class who like me. Well, I remember one Sunday, I sat down at the table and he came and sat down across from me. I didn’t like that so I scooted over to the empty seat that was beside me. And he couldn’t do the same thing because someone was already sitting in the seat beside him. Then when I was about 6 years old, there was this little boy (I’d say he was around 7) who asked me to be his girlfriend. Well. . . .after he said it he probably wished he hadn’t. I got really mad at him and he began to apologize. (He was most likely afraid I would tell on him and get him in trouble.)

Now I don’t get angry with you. . . .I take the opportunity to tell you my view of dating. (As I get older and am asked questions like this more and more. . . .there will most likely be times I'll choose to not go into the details though. It would just depend on the circumstances and the person asking the question.)

What is my view you may ask?

Here was my view when I was younger:

I always said I wanted to be older to date. And at the time 18 sounded old. So I said I didn’t want to date until I was 18.

Then as I got older:

I started tossing the idea around in my head. . . .what if I dated around 15-16?

But then:

I got Joshua Harris’s book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. And out went the idea about dating and in came the idea of. . . .waiting. Yes. . . .I have “Kissed Dating Goodbye!” And I’m not sorry for the choice at all. I’m so glad that God helped me to find a better way.

Kissing dating goodbye has really given me a lot of freedom most girls don’t have.
I don’t have to worry about finding a boyfriend and then trying to hang on to him. I don’t have to worry about a boyfriend pressuring me to sin.

Also, kissing dating goodbye has helped (or maybe I should say has protected) my relationship with God. Instead of running to a boyfriend to find acceptance and companionship, I run to God. I find my worth and value in Him. . . .not in guys.

Does this mean I will never ever date/court? No. . . .it just means I’m waiting for God’s perfect timing and God’s perfect choice for me. Dating/courting to me is not a game. If God ever leads me into this kind of relationship, it will be with the purpose of marriage in mind. I can’t marry right now, I’m way too young. And I won’t be ready for many, many more years. So right now it is not the right time for me to even be considering it. Like Joshua Harris says, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” Marriage is a good thing, but at the wrong time, it is the wrong thing.

And I’m waiting for “the one” God has for me (if God has marriage for me someday). Why am I letting God choose for me? God made me, He knows me completely. He can make a much better choice than I ever could. ‘Cause I don’t know myself as well as He does!

Now I don’t want you to get the idea that I’m saying you have to follow exactly what I’m doing. This is what I’ve chosen to do. Nobody forced me, my parents didn’t and neither did God. I made this descision myself. So I’m not trying to force anyone else, you have to make this choice for yourself.

If you would like more info on this subject here are some good resources:

I Kissed Dating Goodbye
By Joshua Harris (website)

Boy Meets Girl
By Joshua Harris

Passion and Purity
By Elisabeth Elliot (website)

When God Writes Your Love Story
By Eric and Leslie Ludy (website)

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